Messi vs the Snake: The Rematch!

by Messi

I’ve read that my canine brother, Rotti had previously written a blog before, and it had always been my dream to write a piece in my Master’s blog. The time finally came when my Master gave me permission to blog about the recent horrifying battle involving the snake and myself. This is my attempt at recording the details of that frightful night to the best of my memories..

Ever since our first face-off about one month ago, I had been silently anticipating a return from my slimy foe.

Building up my physique and enhancing my barking vocals had been my main prority. Of course, there was also that need to improve my dexterity and reflexes. I may not be a snake expert, but I’m bracing myself for the possibility that my foe would have grown a little bigger already.

Although I was quite sure the snake would find its way back into our garden, I certainly didn’t expect it to be so soon! Last Monday night, the serpent finally returned for a rematch…

The setting was almost inviting. It had rained rather heavily that afternoon. Kept on pouring till late at night. Our house garden was completely drenched with rain. All the leaves of the crawling passion fruit vines were carrying raindrops as much as they could. Everywhere without a shade were shown no mercy by the falling rain. Like I mentioned before, the setting was truly an inviting one.

The rain only started to let up sometime after 8pm, I reckon. Hey, it’s not easy to read time based on the moonlight, ok? My Master and his family had already come home by then. Probably even finished their dinner. My super-hearing senses told me that my Master had taken one of his kids upstairs for a bath. His wife and the other kid remained downstairs. Looks like dinner was gonna be slightly later for Rotti and I tonight. Sigh.

Suddenly, I saw a movement coming from the garden. I silently muttered a curse. My dinner thoughts had caused me to let down my guard for a split second. I pointed my ever-reliable nose towards the direction of the faint movement and it confirmed my suspicions – the snake was back…

Without a second thought, I let out a deep, ‘I mean business’, loud growl in its direction. The sudden bark didn’t even make the snake flinch a bit. I smiled. It looked to have come back better prepared this time. I continued barking as it finally showed its hideous head, looking all shiny, slippery and sinister at the same time. When it came out from the bushes heading towards me, it stopped. I can’t exactly read its thoughts but it was almost as if it was surveying the situation, sizing up its challenger. The night might have been shorter if Rotti had braved himself and joined me in a tag-team battle against this common foe. Unfortunately, my canine brother was nowhere to be seen.

Just like the previous encounter, Rotti apparently couldn’t be bothered by the appearance of the snake. My Master is probably right. Not all dogs were bred to fight snakes. Come to think of it, I don’t think I know of any dogs that were bred naturally to fight snakes! All I know is that as a Jack Daniel mix, I’m sort of a hunting dog, and for the rest of that evening, or my life, that competency would have to do.

I had not let up on my barking. I knew my Master or his wife would be able to figure out what was happening if I barked long enough. From my past battle experiences, I know that having more reinforcements on your side is always better. I just hoped the snake hadn’t brought any shiny extras itself..

My Master’s wife was first to have a look see from the house kitchen window. After confirming what she saw, she promptly called out for my Master. I was glad that they moved into action without any hesitation, opening the locks on the back door as quickly as they could.

Unfortunately, by then the snake had already coiled backwards slightly. Hmmmm…was it going into retreat mode? Were my Masters making too much noise trying to open the door? Suddenly, the snake confidently raised its head to match my height level. My mind raced a bit. In a flash, my height advantage was gone! Here, in the pouring rain, I was staring eye to eye with this reptile!

In the near pitch darkness, the advantage had obviously leaned towards the snake. Its shiny emerald like eyes lit up the night as if on night vision. I was pretty sure it was able to see quite clearly through the night…unlike me! Dogs have never been known to possess great eyesight, especially at such a close distance. Considering the darkness, I had to completely rely on my sense of smell and hearing to sense its movement and react accordingly.

A faceoff in the dark of the rain between sight vs smell and hearing. It doesn’t get any better than this..

The fact that the snake managed to raise its head to my eye-level shocked me for a moment. I remembered my Master saying that pythons typically moved slowly, and more importantly, are NOT poisonous. It also meant they would coil around their victim to suffocate the life out of them, instead of injecting some poisonous venom from its fangs. Staring at its eyes, it suddenly dawned on me that something is very wrong with the picture here. Pythons don’t raise their heads in striking positions, unless…

“It’s not a python!” my Master shouted when he saw the face-off.

Crazy thoughts flashed across my mind. Erm. Does that mean it could be poisonous, then? How did it become so fast and agile compared to our last meeting? Could I hold the stare long enough for the calvary to arrive? How do I-

Too late. The reptile picked its moment and lunged its head forward at me in one swift, lightning motion! I guess someone forgot to tell the snake my Master didn’t give me the name Messi for nothing! Like my namesake in football, I sidestepped the strike in a split second when my extraordinary hearing picked up the impending assault a millisecond as it happened. Before I could regroup, I felt the body of the slimy reptile brushing its skin aginst my fur with such intensity and speed.

Wait a minute.

What if it wasn’t trying to strike me just now? What if it was all a gambit? One second of hesitation felt like forever. I felt the snake trying to wrap itself around my body. You kidding me? Could the snake actually have the strength to choke me to death? I certainly didn’t wait to find out.

Instinctively, I wriggled to break free from the coiling action of the snake. I’m surprised the grip of the snake was stronger than I thought. I didn’t even want to think about what a larger version of it can do! It was a battle alright.  Honestly, in the chaos of this erm, dogfight, I wasn’t sure if I was bitten in the ensuing struggle or not. There was only one thing on my mind at that moment, and that was to break free. Recalling all my street smart techniques, brawn and muscles, I finally managed to shake off the coil grip it was trying to execute.

I’m always a firm believer that offense is the best defense. So after I had temporarily set myself free, I naturally opened up my jaws and revealed my shiny fanged teeth to the snake for one hundredth of a second before I dived in and sunk my teeth into its body. Ewww. Tastes worse than rubber! At least I could feel the snake shriek in pain. Now it was its turn to try to wriggle free from my grip. I guess they don’t call snakes slippery for nothing. I could barely get a better grip on its shiny textured body when it easily shook free and was trying to limp away.

By this time, my Master got hold of my chain and pulled me away to safety. He used a torchlight to see if the snake was still there. I smiled. I could sense that some damage had been done. Probably not enough to kill the snake but just enough to prevent it from crawling away to safety for a second time.

Whilst I was held in restraint, both my Master and his wife began numerous rounds of pouring hot boiling water on the crippled snake. The cool night coupled with the light drizzle caused even more smoke to evaporate from the reptile, which is now seriously being cooked in front of my eyes. It tossed and turned in retaliation, bu to no avail as it was obviously too weak to crawl away. It would only be a matter of time now.

Then out of nowhere, Rotti appeared on the battle scene, nonchantly waltzing towards to half-cooked reptile. My Master screamed for him to stay away but Rotti bravely went close enough to do a sniff and do a prod test. No movement. I believe the triple boiled snake special is finally ready. Perhaps, Rotti was already hungry…

My Master then took a mop stick and prodded the snake a few more times to make sure that it was really dead. He then lifted it up and dumped the cooked animal into a large paper bag to be disposed off immediately. It was then that I saw in full view how long the creature was. Gasp. It was about 6 feet long and looked bloatedly large after the boiling water test.

The dead snake..

After the snake had been safely tucked away in the garbage bin, my Master surprised me by rewarding my valiant efforts that night with an unbelievable dinner. Just my luck they brought home a whole quarter chicken from Kenny Rogers the day before.

The light drizzle soon washed away all the residue and smoke from our impromptu ‘garden steamboat’. Whilst the snake was gone, I could still smell the foul stench from the reptile. But I could use a break first. After my delicious dinner, I will go back to my normal routine, with a little extra patrol along the lines of the backyard…whilst the stench is still present.

To many, I may have looked like a hero. To me, it’s all in a day’s work.

I can only hope there will not be any trilogy to this saga..

My reward for a hard night's work..:-D